Bahama Drama November 1, 2024

The doctor who’s on drugs at PMH

Anonymous Confession from a Doctor at Princess Margaret Hospital

I’ve thought long and hard about sharing this, even behind the safety of anonymity, but hiding has done enough damage already. It’s time to be honest, for myself and for the people I’ve hurt along the way.

I am a doctor at Princess Margaret Hospital, and I am addicted to cocaine.

In the beginning, I told myself it was just a way to cope. I work grueling hours, handle high-stakes cases, and see things every day that would haunt anyone. I thought the cocaine would be temporary, a quick way to stay sharp when exhaustion got the better of me. But over time, it became something else. It made me feel invincible, as if I could carry the entire hospital on my shoulders. It made me feel like the doctor I always wanted to be.

But addiction crept in, quietly and relentlessly, until I was no longer in control. It wasn’t just a boost anymore; it was a crutch, a need. Without it, I felt stripped bare, vulnerable, my self-esteem crushed by the weight of self-doubt. And while I tried to convince myself it was just my secret to bear, that wasn’t the truth.

In my darkest days, I started sharing it. A few nurses noticed my stamina, my energy, and they began to ask questions. I let them in, convincing myself that it was just camaraderie, just something to get through the night shifts together. I never set out to drag them into my world, but addiction doesn’t play fair, and soon, I wasn’t the only one reaching for the drug. My weakness became theirs, my addiction spread.

I’ve tried to break free, but each attempt feels like stepping off a cliff. The fear, the shame, the endless cycle of feeling like I can’t perform my job without it—it’s paralyzing. I know I’ve risked my career, my health, and most unforgivably, the trust of the people I work with and care for. I can’t keep pretending that this isn’t harming everyone around me.

So I’m here, sharing my story with you, not for sympathy, but to take the first step in making things right. I don’t know what the future holds, but I can’t keep hiding. I am finally seeking help, and I hope that those I dragged into this will find their way out too. To anyone reading this who’s struggling with addiction, please know you’re not alone. There’s no shame in needing help.

Thank you for listening.

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With God all things are possible Doc.

The doctor who's on drugs at PMH

Anonymous Confession from a Doctor at Princess Margaret Hospital

I’ve thought long and hard about sharing this, even behind the safety of anonymi

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The doctor who’s on drugs at PMH

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