She Has Fleas in Her Bed But I Still Love Her.
She Has Fleas in Her Bed But I Still Love Her.
By A Young Bahamian Man Just Trying to Hold On to that good ole ghetto love.
I aint even gon lie. I didnt expect love to come like this.
When I came to Andros. I had a picture in my head. Quiet life. Good woman. Peace of mind. Something simple. Something real. And for a moment. I felt like I found that. Her. The way she laugh. The way she check for me. The way she make me feel seen. That aint easy to find nowadays.
But boy. Nobody warn me about the rest.
See loving her aint the problem. Loving her is easy. Its everything around her that testing me.
Her yard filthy. I mean not just needs a lil cleaning. I talking real rough. Things all over. Smell just sitting there like it living too. And the dogs. Lord the dogs. I swear them poor things scratching like they fighting something you cant see. Ticks. Fleas. I see it with my own eyes.
And still. She let them in the bed.
The same bed we supposed to lay down in.
At first I try brush it off. I tell myself maybe I overreacting. Maybe this just how things is out here. But then I start feeling it. Itching. Uncomfortable. Cant even rest my mind proper when I lay down. I talk to her calm respectful trying to explain like baby this aint healthy. This aint right.
She just brush it off.
Say I making a big deal outta nothing. Say them dogs is like family. And I get that. I really do. But where do I stand in all that.
Where do we stand.
Then its the house itself. Man I aint never see nothing like it. Generations stacked on generations. Cousins. Aunties. Uncles. Children. People everywhere. It feel like 150 people living in one space. No privacy. No peace. No place for just us.
I come here looking for love. Not to feel like I squeezing myself into a life that aint got room for me.
And thats where the real pain come in.
Because I love her.
I love her enough to stay. But I starting to wonder if I loving her enough to lose myself.
Now social media get a hold of my story. And it turn into straight war.
The fellas saying.
Bro run. Love aint supposed to come with fleas.
You settling. That aint love thats suffering.
If she cant fix basic hygiene after you talk. She dont respecting you.
And I cant lie. Part of me hear them loud and clear.
But then the women fire back.
If you love her. You help her not shame her.
Everybody aint grow up the same. You supposed to uplift not judge.
You care more about dogs and dirt than her heart.
And that hit different too.
Because they right in a way.
This aint just about dirt or dogs or a crowded house.
Its about two people coming from two different worlds. Trying to meet in the middle and not knowing how.
So now I stuck in between love and reality.
Do I stay and fight for something that feel real. Even if it uncomfortable.
Or do I walk away before resentment grow and destroy what little good we got.
Because right now. Every time I lay down in that bed. Feeling uneasy. Watching her cuddle up like everything normal.
I realizing something hard.
Love alone aint always enough.
And sometimes the smallest things like fleas in a bed. Can turn into the biggest distance between two people who really want to make it work.
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