Bahama Drama January 12, 2025

I Once Killed a Man

Good afternoon Bahama Drama and please keep me anonymous. I ve never really told anyone this and honestly I never thought I d say anything about it. But after all these years the guilt s been eating at me. So here goes just know I m not proud of it but I did what I had to do.

I m in my 50s now living a quiet life in South Carolina but 30 something years ago I did something I can never undo. I was just a kid then really early 20s full of excitement and naïve enough to think the world was one big adventure. My boyfriend and I had saved up and decided to go to Panama thinking we d soak up the culture meet people and just have fun. We had no idea what we were walking into.

We were in Casco Viejo enjoying the nightlife dancing drinking like we were invincible. But looking back I see how stupid we were especially me. I trusted everyone. A female bartender kept recommending drinks and I thought nothing of it. I mean she was nice right Friendly probably just doing her job. What I didn t know was that she was setting us up. She was slipping something into my boyfriend s drinks something that made him pass out but not me. No I was still there still aware.

Once he dropped I knew something wasn t right. And that s when I saw them these men in the club who d been waiting for him to fall. They started closing in on me. I was scared too scared to scream or run. They were whispering in my ear and I remember thinking This is it. But I didn t know how much danger I was really in until I ended up in the restroom.

One of the men followed me grabbed me and pushed me into one of the stalls. I tried to fight him off but he was too strong. It felt like forever but in that moment all I could think about was surviving. I knew he had a knife and it was on the floor when I kicked it out of his hand. I didn t think didn t plan. I just reacted. I grabbed that knife and went for him.

It s a blur but I remember stabbing him repeatedly in the throat. I didn t stop until he stopped moving. And when I did I stood there in shock staring at what I d just done. The blood the life draining from him. I didn t know if I was going to be caught or if I d even make it out of there alive.

But I didn t wait around for the cops. I couldn t. I pulled my boyfriend out of that place as quickly as I could dragging him back to our hotel. He was unconscious the whole time and when he finally woke up the next day I told him what happened. I told him about the man about what I did in the restroom.

I still feel the weight of that day especially now with all this time between then and now. I m not asking for sympathy or forgiveness. I just wanted to tell someone to finally say out loud what I ve carried with me for so long. Maybe I shouldn t have done it. But in that moment I didn t have a choice.

It s not something I can forget but I do live with it. I live with the fact that I killed a man to save myself. And I ve had to keep it a secret all these years even though I still feel guilty about it. But now sharing it here it feels like I can breathe a little easier.

Thank you for listening but does anyone else feel bad about something that you did in your past?

I Once Killed a Man

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