Good afternoon Bahama Drama please keep me anonymous.
I don’t see nothing wrong with sleeping your way up to the top, if your that good in bed.
I’m in my late twenties and I’m an Administrative assistant in a big time government office.
I won’t give details about which one but, I will tell you this; sleeping my way up to the top was worth every mile on the kitty
and those of you who do have something negative to say about me are either broke or lost because I’m making it baby!
I don’t rent I own my own home out West where you can’t afford to come because it’s a gated community baby!
All of my life I’ve watched girl’s who seemed to be smarter than me or even had more talent then me fail on many jobs, where the bosses didn’t get along with them, or like them because they were acting all stuck up like.
I was on the bottom looking up at situations like this playing itself out over and over again.
And that’s when I decided if my boss come on to me I’m going to comply if he complys with what I want to.
And now some years later at my job I’m the best dressed and one of the most top paid young professionals in this place.
I drive a very nice car that most of these girls I work with can only wish for but little do they know I didn’t pay a dime for it the boss did.
What I’m trying to share with the young and older women on this page is simple.
Do what you have to do to get up the ladder girl.
And if that includes giving up your backside to level up, you better not hesitate for a moment girl;
because somebody else will do what you won’t, that’s how you get ahead in life.
I know some of you are going to be like not me girl but guess what?
I still got my pussy; they didn’t take it nowhere whenever they moved it.
PAGE REPLY:
While we’re not going to judge you. Your advice seems like it doesn’t require morals or entrenched family standards which many of us women grew up with. So thanks but no thanks Mrs.
Good morning Bahama Drama please keep me anonymous.
For the past couple of months my heart has been talking to me strongly about this relationship with this boy
I’m 43 years old and he is still in his teen’s but I’m not going to expose his age because he is a grown ass man not over 20ty though.
One of the many problems that I’ve been having with him is he is a habitual liar and he can’t seem to be able to tell me the truth about the most simple things
And whenever I ask him to do something for me that I think is important he always finds an excuse to put them on the waiting list and eventually not doing them
he has proven over and over again that I really can’t depend on him for the things that are important to me
Even when we have our bedroom talk his conversations are never that interesting at all for me.
He only talks about gossip and shit I’m not interested in hearing about to try and strike a conversation
The worst thing about the relationship is he lives with me now and I really can’t stand looking into his face anymore without feeling like his full of shit
When I first got with him he was so interesting and charming like a real gentleman
but after many months he’s proven to me time and time again that he’s selfish arrogant and is still fucking his baby mother to
Don’t get me wrong though he’s not lazy he does work and is kind of clever but it’s not going to be enough for me to bring him into the new year with me
I’ve been thinking about this for months now and I really feel in my heart that he’s not the one and that he’s simply just wasting my time and I ain’t getting any younger
I want something better for myself not a son who can fuck me and take out the garbage if you know what I mean.
I’m guessing the age difference does count after all.
PAGE REPLY:
It’s clear that he pretended his way into your life and is now trying desperately to hold on to you with lies and deception which makes him a desperate and dangerous boy.
The only way to cut this one out is going away for a couple months and telling him that it’s over on a long distance call if you don’t have brothers who don’t even play radio
after about 2 or 3 months tell him now that he has to leave your place, else he will still be living in your place by the time you return. Good luck.
I’m tired of getting grind up but still I’m not really sure
Good morning Bahama Drama please keep me anonymous.
I know that I’m only 19 years old and regretfully the choices that I have made myself
this far has caused me to sleep with over 1 thousand guys in my short lifetime
but pastor Borrows said in one of his services that God can change anybody
and most of the time’s our faith is all we need to show God but truthfully
I love to get grind up by different guys because it makes me feel loved and I like how special every different guy is make me feel from the way they is talk to me before I give them what they begging for.
I guess I’m also addicted to most of their lies to you can say
I used to have a lot of friends I used to hang with because I actually grew up in a Muslim household
where we had to pray at least 3 times a day.
Bahama Drama I really want to change but I’m not sure if I could.
PAGE REPLY:
You can do anything that you put your mind to and with faith in God.
Maybe this can help a lot of you out in your relationships
Stage 1: The Merge
The first stage of a relationship is the Merge, aka the honeymoon stage. It’s the initial, sweeping romance that often consumes a couple when they first get together, including an all-consuming joy in the presence of our partner and insatiable, passionate sex. Often people in this stage of a relationship will feel as if they’ve found their “perfect match,” someone who is so eerily similar and compatible with them. They feel they always want to be together, and boundaries often melt away. The two seem to merge together, or at least feel eager to do so.
These emotions often drown out the rational part of our brain. Indeed, research tells us this first stage is marked by biochemical changes in our brain—a cocktail of hormones that trigger and maintain a state of infatuation, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. This brain glow can often lead us to become “addicted” to our partners and to ignore incompatibilities, red flags, or other issues.
What to do in this relationship stage.
Health and Well-Being is a Journey.
Join us to transform your health.
Enjoy this stage to the fullest—this is the stuff that makes dating so delightful and intriguing. At the same time, be aware of your heightened emotions. Take time to step back and observe your emotions and your relationship, and actively question whether this person really is the best match for you. Get candid advice from friends who can make sure you’re not missing any truly worrisome red flags while under this biochemical love potion.
Go slow with making any big decisions, too—the Merge can fog your vision and make you want to dive into situations that might not actually be wise or healthy for you in the long run. In general, don’t make decisions because you’re “so in love”—because that’s a temporary feeling of infatuation that will eventually fade.
Stage 2: Doubt and Denial
The second stage of a relationship is Doubt and Denial, in which we finally start to actually notice the differences between us and our partners. We wake up from the trance of infatuation with a thump, finding that the same qualities that once seemed so perfect have begun to annoy us. (His reliability now feels rigid; her generosity seems irresponsible; their adventurous nature feels like unnecessary risk.)
And unfortunately, friction is natural once we run up against each other’s differences. Power struggles increase, and we marvel at the change in our partner. Feelings of love mix with alienation and irritation. Perhaps we’re not “perfect” for each other after all.
As our disappointment escalates, so do our biological responses to stress. Depending on our personality and circumstances, we may want to fight or to withdraw. For example, you may feel the need to fight to defend your values, which may actually translate into the desire to have everything your own way. It makes little sense to expect another person to be just like we are, and yet, at some level, many of us do tend to ask, “Why aren’t you like me?
What to do in this relationship stage.
At this point, the skills of conflict management are essential. Learn how to deescalate conflicts and face relationship problems head-on, and treating each other with care and respect. Remember that power struggles and arguments are normal parts of a relationship; they’re not necessarily a sign that love is ending or that the relationship isn’t working. You’ll need to learn to identify the difference between healthy disagreement and unhealthy control issues; the former can be worked through, while the latter may be a sign you should break up.
Because this is the stage where you’re starting to recognize your differences, this second stage of a relationship is also a good time to learn your love languages. There are five love languages, and it’s important for each person to know how their partner wants to receive love.
Stage 3: Disillusionment
The third stage of a relationship is the Disillusionment stage. This is the winter season of love, one that may feel like the end of the road for some couples. At this point, the power struggles in the relationship have come fully to the surface; the issues the couple have consistently shoved under the rug are now glaringly obvious. Some people become perpetually vigilant, ready to fly into battle at the slightest provocation. Other couples might quietly move apart over time, putting less and less energy into maintaining the relationship and investing more outside of it.
At this juncture, our original experience of passionate love is often a distant memory. The “I” reemerges, a state that feels a lot safer than our former blissful experience of “we.” Nevertheless, some couples may not question their commitment; instead, they may see this as a strong message that things need to change.
What to do in this relationship stage.
Clear the air and create space. Stop pushing problems under the rug and avoiding issues; as tiring as the repetitive arguments may feel, pushing them under the rug just leaves a lumpy carpet with much to trip over.
There may be a lot of negative energy in the relationship at this stage. To offset this, practice showing affection even when upset. Can you feel angry and be aware that something isn’t working that you need to talk about—but still go to dinner and a movie together?
During the Merge, the brain notices only the positive and avoids anything that challenges that view. In the Disillusionment stage, the brain is zeroing in on all the relationship’s deficiencies. The things that are going right are ignored; the things going wrong get all our attention. Try to offset that process with an intentional gratitude practice.
Stage 4: Decision
The fourth stage of a relationship is called the Decision because you’re at a breaking point. Emotional breakdowns, leaving the house for hours to get away from each other after a fight, and self-protective behaviors are all commonplace. So, too, is indifference and remoteness.
You know you’re here when you begin to seriously contemplate leaving and even make plans for exiting the relationship. You may feel ready for an enticing new beginning with a new person.
In this stage, we make a decision—whether that’s to leave, to stay and do nothing despite how miserable we are, or to stay and actually work on fixing this relationship.
What to do in this relationship stage.
When I see couples at this stage, I always encourage them to consider taking a new path, which is to decide to do some work before making a choice about the relationship. Many times, couples feel they want out of the relationship, but when they learn the skills to communicate effectively, years of resentment or estrangement can fade away.
Doing the work involves understanding your own role in your relationship’s deterioration and committing to real change. If we make this last choice, we can learn the lessons that will help us become the best people we can be as we give our relationship the chance to grow and deepen.
Even if couples do make the choice to part ways, they can often do so in a constructive way, wishing one another well and understanding their own part in what happened.
Stage 5: Wholehearted Love
The fifth stage of a relationship is Wholehearted Love—when our relationship is at its healthiest and most rewarding. It’s love’s summertime, when the fruits of a couple’s labors are fully ripe and ready to be savored. Couples experience true individuation, self-discovery, and the acceptance of imperfection in both themselves and their partners, recognizing there is no such thing as a “perfect match.”
There’s hard work still involved in this fifth stage of a relationship, but the difference is that couples know how to listen well and lean into uncomfortable conversations without feeling threatened or attacking one another.
In this stage, couples also begin to play together again. They can laugh, relax, and deeply enjoy each other. They even can experience some of the thrilling passion, joys, and sex of the Merge as each person rediscovers themselves in ways that let them fall in love with each other all over again.
What to do in this relationship stage.
Nourish yourself. The Wholehearted Love stage is fueled by the qualities of two wholehearted people: generosity, humor, flexibility, resilience, good boundaries, self-care, and a life with meaning and purpose. Couples are able to stay in this stage as long as they’re able to continually sustain their own wholeness as individuals, so make self-care and self-growth continual goals.
Know that there will be new challenges waiting somewhere in the distance but that you can be well-equipped to deal with them when they come. In the meantime, relish the journey.
Stage 1: The Merge
The first stage of a relationship is the Merge, aka the honeymoon stage. It’s the initial, sweeping romance that often consumes a couple when they first get together, including an all-consuming joy in the presence of our partner and insatiable, passionate sex. Often people in this stage of a relationship will feel as if they’ve found their “perfect match,” someone who is so eerily similar and compatible with them. They feel they always want to be together, and boundaries often melt away. The two seem to merge together, or at least feel eager to do so.
These emotions often drown out the rational part of our brain. Indeed, research tells us this first stage is marked by biochemical changes in our brain—a cocktail of hormones that trigger and maintain a state of infatuation, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. This brain glow can often lead us to become “addicted” to our partners and to ignore incompatibilities, red flags, or other issues.
What to do in this relationship stage.
Health and Well-Being is a Journey.
Join us to transform your health.
Enjoy this stage to the fullest—this is the stuff that makes dating so delightful and intriguing. At the same time, be aware of your heightened emotions. Take time to step back and observe your emotions and your relationship, and actively question whether this person really is the best match for you. Get candid advice from friends who can make sure you’re not missing any truly worrisome red flags while under this biochemical love potion.
Go slow with making any big decisions, too—the Merge can fog your vision and make you want to dive into situations that might not actually be wise or healthy for you in the long run. In general, don’t make decisions because you’re “so in love”—because that’s a temporary feeling of infatuation that will eventually fade.
Stage 2: Doubt and Denial
The second stage of a relationship is Doubt and Denial, in which we finally start to actually notice the differences between us and our partners. We wake up from the trance of infatuation with a thump, finding that the same qualities that once seemed so perfect have begun to annoy us. (His reliability now feels rigid; her generosity seems irresponsible; their adventurous nature feels like unnecessary risk.)
And unfortunately, friction is natural once we run up against each other’s differences. Power struggles increase, and we marvel at the change in our partner. Feelings of love mix with alienation and irritation. Perhaps we’re not “perfect” for each other after all.
As our disappointment escalates, so do our biological responses to stress. Depending on our personality and circumstances, we may want to fight or to withdraw. For example, you may feel the need to fight to defend your values, which may actually translate into the desire to have everything your own way. It makes little sense to expect another person to be just like we are, and yet, at some level, many of us do tend to ask, “Why aren’t you like me?”
